One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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