I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
