Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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