I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
