Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
