last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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