Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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