What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
