don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
