a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
