we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
