he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
