You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
