Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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