he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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