the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
