i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Oh god it's open bar.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
