He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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