I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
