i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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