Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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