Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
don't judge my taste in strippers
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
