she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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