Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
