shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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