That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
