please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
