i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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