TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
