I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
