they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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