I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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