Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
