I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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