zippers are such a cool invention
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize