i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
