: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
