So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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