someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
