tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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