She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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