I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
