She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
