Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
