Ketchup is God's man juice
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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