You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
