Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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