i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
