whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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