I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
