It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
