I CAN MOONWALK!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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