Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
