..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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