The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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