I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
