I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
