we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize