fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
