It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
