Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
