craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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