You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
