so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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