she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
