But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
