Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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