I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
