do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
